Blog… 1/20/09
A child of mother Africa has risen as king: a lion of Judah. What an honorable admirable moment to see in a lifetime that which was deemed impossible. United States of America has an African born in America as president: Barak Obama. It is a memorable aspiration of roots rising to be the tree that has stood beside still waters of endurance, resilience, perseverance and determination.
Today marks a monumental embarkation of change. I first must look within. Not realizing the significance of the day I rose with thoughts of my not standing by the king governing the FUCAN tribe: Mukhtar. I began to be humbled by the realness of the moment of a resounding yes; to his call. A chosen one to go within himself to sojourn and reposition himself to a leadership stance; he begins his quest and journey. I, as in my selfishness; do not wish to be separated from the lion that governs me, keeps me secure, provide my warmth, holds me accountable, binds me in truth, awakens my happiness and assist in the molding and mending in order to promote my growth: the love of my life, father to my unborn babies. Yet I was moved to set self aside and release my fears unto the cup of curiosity.
Reflecting back upon the words herd in the days of recent past; I began to appreciate this country’s first African born in America first lady: Michelle Obama. I was told that she did not sit well with the first onset of President Obama’s desire to run for senator of Illinois. Yet she set self aside for Selflessness and moved into alignment with her lion of Judah; I too am moved to do so. This is the true and significant example of submission as well as the signs of creation of what can happen when a woman stands behind her man.
Mukhtar’s journey: the generosity tour shall not only be the catalyst of change in his life but also the catalyst of observation of endurance in my life. Will I be able to stand as wife, woman, counter-part, help-meet, and mother in his absence or will I faint into the dogmas of thoughts of abandonment, betrayal, of deception of separation; all of which can in appearance be justified and realized. I have, after the first initial information of the onset of the generosity tour, been flooded with rants of waves of emotions thereby signaling to him; I am not in alignment to his desires or calling, I am not willing to move in blind faith of his abilities of harmless and responsible choices, I am pulling away, and I am unhappy with him and his decisions.
I am pregnant. After becoming aware of this opportunity to be an open vessel to the energy desiring to use me as a portal, I was /am ecstatic to be chosen as well as him being the chosen one; as father. I have created in my mind upon onset of this delight-filled journey, the joys that shall be shared simultaneously between him and me; concerning the child within. The bonding of father and child energetic forces was among the hopeful moments to share. This will be a 4 month journey. I feel that I and this wonderful creation of unity, are being robbed of moments of laughter, slumbering moments intertwined as one, hugs of radiation of energy, the transferring of vibration energy; and the radiant tremors of the vibration of a voice of authority; his to us. As I exhale the thought of missed moments of anew; I await the unexamined moments of a morrow un-trodden. This in fact will be a testament to my faith, as well as our love that dwells deep within.
Looking into the mirror of my soul and facing myself; I dare to stand and examine the truth. I want him to find that which is meant to be discovered and uncovered, making room and notice for America anew. I do want him to conquer this quest and endure this journey. I do not fear his safety, yet mine. I question my sense of insecurity; finding myself well secured, only frothed with loneliness amidst the monist of anticipated severance cloaked in separation. My imbalanced thoughts of abandonment lurk in the hindmost of my mind. I am quickened to stand in the assurance of a love built through enduring the creative efforts of change; a change that was not implemented by either, yet wonderfully manifested itself out of the perseverance and grasp of a commitment to the oneness of togetherness. As I put my request for him to return in time to be the first touch to the child/children within on their entrance to earth day.
I can but won’t try to imagine the thoughts of an extraordinary woman when her man traveled across the nation on the journey toward supremacy. I dare to compare my plight to hers. The enormity of weight; the same to me
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