UNDEFINED Standards

Here of late I have been in this nit picky mode and I really do not know why.

I have been acting like nothing anyone does is right or will be satisfactory to my standards. What standards? You know, the ones that are undefined and misrepresented to the ones you love and/or communicate with.

Now don't act like I am the only one who lives and operates under those standards.

The truth of the matter is I get caught up in the perfection of pleasing the one that I loose sight of the whole. I know this is not beneficial to the fullness of togetherness in the long run. How not? Well even though many would think that pleasing that one in you life, would and should stand first and foremost in a woman's life. To that, I say you are correct; just not right.

Well I have the pleasure of shacking as they say with the magi I love. We also have the privilege of merging our families. Yes I know what you are thinking... what does he have to work for or look forward to if he got all of me now? Good question? No answer from over here.

I find that though I am trying to make our living arrangement work; I am failing. Why? Because I have turned any one who is not in sync with what he desires; the villain, enemy, culprit, or just plain wrong and in the way. It does not matter who it is.

Well as you can see... that don't work. The kids think I am crazy. They feel they can't move, breath or live without me nit picking with them. He even thinks I am off my rocker. Why? Because this is trickling down and overflowing into our relationship. We have been at each other's throats night and day for a while now; too long for both of us. It is even to the verge of calling it quits.

What am I to do?

My desire is to some way, some how; create an environment of harmonic flow. I do realize we have a great flow when I am not in full force mode and end up hurting us. Our flow is like no other I have been with. It is slow, smooth, still, melodic, turbulent and swift; Yet it is perfect.

I realize if you don't have standards, don't pretend you do. I you desire standards... activate some. But first and foremost... define them and inform others of what they are so that all minds and hearts are clear of what is being asked and required.

Today I celebrate the acquiring of known and defined; by me!

Z