Fear of Success... the reality of it.

I am faced with the need to do some self probing. I am at an invisible wall of fear as they say. I am dumbfounded as to the reasoning or event the fact that I am frozen. I am frozen; not able to advance nor retreat.

I must question myself. Have I given up? Have I sat down? Have I just stopped or paused in the journey. Has anything frighten me? Has anything blocked me? What do I see. What is really going on? What is it really that has me here? I feel these are the legitimate questioning that needs to take place in order for me advancement or retreat if needed.

As I begin to probe within; an eeriness overwhelms me. I get knotted up in my stomach. Why? I do not like this feeling. I don't feel that I have given up on my dreams or wants. I may have in fact sat down; don't know why or for how long. I feel I am at the ledge and cannot lift my feet to jump, sail or walk off. I feel a hole inside that is causing me to be nauseous or think I am. I don't know how to muster up enough courage to push through. Don't know if I feel like it. I am wondering if it is because, I know there are others depending upon me. Is it because I feel when I need someone there is no one to depend on. Am I trying not to be able to help? This is all crazy but real questions I ask myself.

When I get up and get the answers I'll let you know.